


The Days Where It Isn't Okay

by fanfiction_fanfriction



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Body Worship, Bottom Steve Rogers, Breakfast, Bucky Barnes as Captain America, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Established Relationship, Gratuitous Smut, Kink Negotiation, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Pancakes, Plot, Porn With Plot, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Bucky Barnes, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Protectiveness, Rimming, Smut, Top Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:46:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfiction_fanfriction/pseuds/fanfiction_fanfriction
Summary: Steve divides Bucky’s mindsets into two categories, recovery and winter soldier. Recovering Bucky had most of his memories and tried his best to make new ones, happy ones with Steve, and their friends. He wrote down everything and usually wore a smile. He still sometimes had a sad look in his eyes, but he found new purpose in life. He was getting better every daySometimes however, Bucky woke up as the Winter Soldier.





	The Days Where It Isn't Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 100th Birthday Steven Grant Rogers 

Steve woke up to the sound of the birds chirping and the feeling of the sun against his face. This was his first day off in a good while, he wanted to enjoy it.

 

He closed his eyes and rolled over, his back facing the window and sighed. After a few seconds he tensed, finding that the other side of the bed was empty.

 

He opened his eyes to find that in fact the other side of the bed was empty. There wasn’t any missions, and if it was an emergency then Steve would be called too. 

 

That was the plan, Steve helped out Bucky, no one else was ever on his comm. Bucky trusted no one else with his life, and he didn’t want to Steve to feel like he wasn’t helping. He couldn’t pick up his own shield, but he still had the brains of a captain.

 

Steve always explained that it was because they were together till the end of the line.

 

He walked into the kitchen and found Bucky sitting at the small dining table and gazing out the window. He was dressed in his full uniform, not the one he received when he began to work with the Avengers nor the Cap uniform he had been wearing while Steve has been unable to fill the roll.

 

No, it was the all black uniform that they kept in storage. The one from what felt like ages ago.

 

“Is everything okay?” Steve was hesitant. 

 

Bucky recognized fear on him and knows it doesn’t belong there. Fear doesn’t belong on Steve’s face and Bucky doesn’t want to be the one to put it there

“I was checking the perimeter.” He said but that’s it, he looked at Steve for a long time “Are you my reward? For completing the last mission?”

Steve responded, "Yeah, sure. I am. You did really well on your last mission." He wasn’t too sure how deep this goes or how this happened.

Bucky nodded, “Will they take you away if I don’t comply to the next mission?” 

 

Steve didn’t even know how to respond and had to think for a few moments, he eventually responded,  “Your mission now is to protect me. I’m a reward but also an asset to the team so I Have to be protected.” He had to think fast so Bucky doesn’t try to leave in his headspace.

Instead he went over and wook Steve's hand in his own, he quickly noticed the difference in the sizes, "You're very.... Small? Why?"

Steve took a deep breath and told him “I’ve been very sick my whole life. It made me small. But I’m smarter and stronger than I look.” He smiles at him and Bucky isn’t used to smiles so he’s a little confused

Bucky cupped Steve's face, "They wouldn't give me a reward if you weren't strong... Unless i am supposed to break you?"

 

  "No, no, no, you're not meant to break me." Steve chuckled nervously, "You did so well that they wanted to give you something for your good behaviour."

"Before they put me into the ice?"

“They want to try a new system, they want to see if this reward system will work better than the ice.” Steve said quietly and pressed his cheek into his hand, loving and sweet, nothing like what Bucky had been used to in HYDRA.

Bucky was unsure of what to do with the sight before him. Dressed in a t-shirt and patterned underwear, looking sleepy. Did the reward need a nap? What did the reward want to do, "What do you want to do?"

Steve was panicking a little inside, Bucky doesn’t usually have the Winter Soldier take over his mind completely and Steve wasn’t sure how he’ll react to things, “Well usually when we, I mean I wake up I eat breakfast and take my pills.” He said, rubbing his eyes.

 

He woke up too early since Bucky wasn’t with him to keep him warm, he was actually feeling a little cold now.

Bucky nodded, "Breakfast...." Then carefully took Steve's hand and lead him to the kitchen. 

 

He picked the blonde up and placed him on the counter, patting his bare knee before he checked the fridge for something to eat. He was for a moment surprised by how much food was in the fridge, it wasn't filled to the brim, but it wasn't empty. There was milk, orange juice, some grapes, eggs, a jar of pasta sauce, many condiments, a half eaten loaf of bread along with various kind of fruits and vegetables. 

 

Steve watched Bucky with careful eyes, "Do you want me to help." He tried to get off the counter, but Bucky looked over his shoulder quickly to the smaller man.

 

  "No, you said you were a reward right? I.. I need to take care of you. Just in case they come back, at least you'll have eaten and built up a bit of strength." Then Bucky pulled out the eggs from the fridge along with the carton of milk.

Steve doesn’t get down but he instead takes things from Bucky as he walked them over to the counter “The pans are in that cabinet.” He pointed and gave him a shy smile “They…They won’t take me away as long as I’m protected so.” He tried, knowing Bucky won’t believe him

"They know my coding, if you try to fight back they might say  _ those _ words." Bucky said gravely, his back turned to Steve as he took the pan out.

Steve shook his head, "You couldn't hurt me. Someone who could hurt me would never make breakfast." He scooted farther down the counter to be closer to Bucky, "They won't take me away from you, I got a few tricks of my own." 

 

He didn't mention why he had to take the medications he needed to take today or even his inhaler.

Bucky worked quietly for a few moments, he felt an impending sense of doom like HYDRA was right there. Watching and ready to take Steve away with him “I can’t risk it. I don’t want to hurt you. I feel...very protective of you. Mission or no.” He muttered and then began cooking, he was quick and efficient just as he should be. He was a soldier, everything was done with the care of one.

Steve slowly slid off the counter and slowly put his hands on Bucky's hips, "You won't hurt me." He then kisses his shoulder. "You're too precious. I have never had a gift before, my only gift has been the chair and then the ice.... But then again I feel like we've met before? Have you been here before?"

Steve hugged him from behind tightly, burying his face into his shoulder “We’ve been here together before. Yes.” He said quietly, his voice betraying how much he’s feeling, how much emotion he had for the man in front of him

"I guess you trust me because I've never hurt you before." He began to move and found the pancake mix from the cupboard. He had a vague recollection of where that was but not the man behind him. He looked over his shoulder and added, "I really hoped I hadn't. You're too beautiful... Do they hurt you?"

“I trust you for lots of reasons.” Steve muttered softly, he kept hugging him, not wanting to let go “They? As in HYDRA?” He asked, he can’t lie to Bucky and HYDRA has hurt him before, he had never been able to lie to Bucky “Well, kind of. But they haven’t for a while. Not since I became your.. Reward.”

Bucky nodded his head as he put the mix into the bowl along with water, milk and eggs, "Are you used for all the soldiers?" He thought about the others he had the train, the other winter soldiers, he didn’t like the idea of Steve being shared among them, he waned Steve to be his and his only, this reward that was made for him. They gave their lives to the cause by choice, Bucky had a nagging feeling that he did not have a choice.

Steve swallowed hard and shakes his head “No...just for you. I’ve always been just for you.” He told him, finally letting go of him so he could go get his medications. 

Bucky looked over, "Where are you going?" 

 

Steve responded, "I need my medications." 

 

The other man put the bowl down and went over to the blonde, "Let me get it." He put his metal hand over Steve's clothed chest, "You're sick." The feeling was comforting to Bucky, having Steve’s skin so close to him even though he couldn’t feel it.

Steve could feel his heart fluttering as Bucky touched him, even as the winter soldier he was so gentle with him, “I just need the green bottle and my inhaler.” He told him, not wanting to argue with him when he was so willing and ready to do these things for him.

 

Bucky felt that wave of protectiveness and need to take care of throughout his whole body, it was as if when Steve moved away from him, he began to panic. He needed him close. So he got down what Steve tells him he needs pill bottles to his inhaler, he handed them to him and he picked him up, setting him back on the counter where he had him before “Do you need a glass of water  _ мое сокровище _ ?”

 

Steve shivered at the nickname and nodded, he’s clutching his inhaler close to his chest, not wanting to move again to get his own water since Bucky had moved him again. Most times he loved when Bucky slipped in some Russian, but right now he wanted to make sure that his boyfriend was okay.

 "I'm glad you're taking your medications. I means you're healthy." Bucky said as he gets him a glass of water, "Here you go." He handed the blonde the full glass and put his hands carefully on Steve's knees, testing how much Steve would let him touch him. He kept an eye on Steve as he took his pills.

 

 "Thank you." Steve took the glass and quickly took his pills, downing the entire glass under Bucky's watchful eye. He felt the flutter in his chest as he saw how much Bucky wanted to protect him 

 

He took his pills and set the glass aside. Then he carefully put his hands on either side of Bucky’s shoulders “You...you can touch me. I’m here for you.” He told him, smiling a little

"I want to be here for you." Bucky responded, "I don't remember you, but you feel familiar. Warm almost. Like you can melt all the ice in the world."

Steve couldn’t help his chuckle at his phrasing and nodded a little “That makes me happy. I want to be that person for you. I want to make you feel good and happy and lighter.” He told him softly and smiled at him again “You’re very important to me.” Steve told him and Bucky nodded

Bucky began to mix the pancake batter together, occasionally looking back over to Steve. His mixing was methodical, every turn of the whisk was done with precision that could only come from a soldier. 

 

Steve leaned over to the next shelf and grabbed the bag of chocolate chips from it and began to open it, "hey Bucky. Can we add some of these you really like them!" Bucky looked at them for a moment, slowly. Taking it from Steve's hands, "do you like them too?" He couldn't remember ever liking them, when would he have been given them?

Steve smiled at his question and nodded his head “Yeah I do. We both like them.” He tells him, watching as Bucky pours some into the bowl and mixes them in with the batter. Bucky couldn’t remember ever being allowed something sweet. 

 

Food wasn’t a reward it was just energy to carry out missions. 

 

He didn’t get to choose what he ate most of the time as the safe houses he stayed in were usually stocked already for him. He adds what he thinks is a good amount and then sets the bag aside Steve took them back and pours a few into his hand. He downs a couple of them and then scooted closer to Bucky and held some out, “Here, eat a couple.” He leaned forward so he can feed them to Bucky.

 

Bucky just blinked a few times and opened his mouth for them, he doesn’t remember ever having something like this on a mission before, the chocolate and Steve are a real treat.

"I must have been really good on my mission." Bucky said, but it sounded more like a question. He wasn't too sure of his last mission,  _ was it in New York? Or did he just end up here? _

 

Steve stilled his hand for a moment, pondering over his response. He then began to feed Bucky a few more, "Uh yeah, you did great. I guess you get two rewards today!"

Bucky nodded, something wasn’t adding up, but he didn’t want to question it and lose whatever time he had with Steve so he accepted the chocolate and ate them, and then turned back to start cooking the pancakes Steve’s heart feels sad for the man in front of him, he isn’t the recovering Bucky who knows he can have fun and pleasure, this is the winter soldier who is broken and doesn’t understand what it’s like to make his own life decisions, and Steve knows he needs to tell someone just in case recovering Bucky doesn’t come back for a while, but how can he get to his phone without him being right on top of him? 

 

He leaned back against the cabinets and yawns, more tired after this morning than he has been in a long time.

Bucky put his hand back on Steve's knee, "Are you okay?" He looked away from the frying pan for a moment, "You look tired, did they not let you sleep before you came here?" More questioned burned at Bucky's tongue, but he didn't want to scare off the blonde before him.

Steve shook his head “I don’t sleep well if you aren’t beside me or at least in the room with me. I...I have too many nightmares.” He told him honestly.  It was not all a lie but he needs a reason other than HYDRA is torturing him because they aren’t and he can’t lie to Bucky, “I need to use the bathroom, is it okay if I go?” He asked him carefully, not wanting to upset him but he needed to try to contact Fury or Natasha or someone about this

Bucky nodded his head, "Of course. Go." He moved out of his way slightly to allow Steve to get off the counter, "Please be safe."

“It’s just the bathroom Bucky. And I have you here to keep me safe.” Steve smiled at him, a soft loving, trusting smile. He carefully got off the counter and stretched a little, exposing a small sliver of skin before he headed down the hall into their bedroom where their bathroom is. Once inside, he closed the door to the bathroom and grabbed his phone before entering the bathroom. He needed to text Nat.

 

_ “Bad day for Bucky. Winter Soldier mindset, thinks I’m reward. Please don’t come over, I’ll try to keep you up to date, but I don’t know how deep his programming is today.” _

Steve messaged Natasha, deciding that Bucky would be safer if Fury doesn’t know. He would send in SHIELD and Steve just wanted him safe. This would create a greater problem than it needed to be. He took an extra minute to make sure she’s read it

 

Bucky continued to flip the pancakes, running on muscle memory to figure out when the flip them till they were golden brown. He couldn't remember how he got here, he remembered the cold, the ice cold that engulfed him.

Steve washed his hands and heads back into the kitchen “Mmm those smell good.” He sighed happily, he loved it when Bucky cooks for him, even when he was bigger

"Golden brown right?" Bucky asked as he added another to the plate, "That's how you like them?"

“Yeah. That’s perfect.” Steve smiled brightly and goes to grab another plate for Bucky and cups for them both, he has to stand on his tiptoes to grab them, he’s too short for the last cup but he’s trying so hard because he’s a stubborn man

Bucky reached over and got it down for him without a word. He put it down on the counter for Steve to grab and he took the plate from the blonde’s hand. 

 

He plated most of the pancakes on Steve's plate and placed it on the counter. He gave small almost smile to the blonde, happy to see him eat something he made. 

 

But he wasn't to sure that if it even was happiness? Was it relief? Was it a weird mix of emotions? Steve looked at Bucky, noticing the small smile and it makes his chest feel a little lighter. Maybe buried underneath the rubble of the Winter Soldier, Bucky was still there.

Steve set their glasses on the counter and asked “Do you want milk? Or water?” He asked, out of habit, not realizing that since Bucky was in winter soldier mode he might not understand the question.   
  
Bucky tilted his head and his face fell a little, the smile gone and a calculating look on his face now. Milk wasn’t something he would have access to usually and water only because it was necessary.

 

  “I’m going to have some milk.” Steve said quickly, pouring himself a glass and heading to sit on one of the barstools

Bucky looked at the carton of milk and carefully poured himself half a glass, not wanting to take too much before he goes to sit beside Steve. He carefully watched Steve, wanting to see his reaction to the pancakes. Did he make them right? Did he burn them? Would the reward be sad?

Steve smiled at him before digging in, he moaned around his first bite. It was absolutely perfect and he can’t help it, “Thank you these are amazing.”, He licked his lips to get some of the chocolate off his lips.

 

Bucky’s eyes followed his every movement and he felt his throat go dry, the reward was making his body react in ways he thought he’d gotten rid of, and he nodded a ‘you’re welcome’. He noticed some chocolate on he corner of Steve's mouth. He reaches over to wipe it off with the pad of his thumb. As he is about to do it, there's a knock on the door.

Steve froze and swallowed the bite in his mouth “Shit...” he muttered, he was not sure what to do here “I’ll... I’ll get it.” He offered weakly, turning to get off the barstool.

Bucky was close behind him, his metal hand curled and ready to strike. He calculates how far it is from the front door to the hot pan cooling in the sink

"Who is it?" Bucky asked, he thought it was the handlers, HYDRA, their agents. He needed to protect Steve, he looked over to the kitchen to see if any of the knives were on the counter or even a metal fork. 

 

Steve moved what was hopefully not too fast so he didn’t seem as freaked out as he was. He had one hand reaching back to press against Bucky’s chest lightly.

 

“Who is it?” The soldier repeated as they got closer to the door, he thought Steve is reaching for him because he’s scared, he doesn’t realize he’s reaching for him to try and somehow hold him back if things go wrong.

 

Steve frowned when he heard Natasha’s voice from behind the door, she was speaking in Russian and he doesn’t understand her but he knows Bucky will. He went to open the door “Nat, what the hell are you doing here.” He hissed quietly.

Bucky looked over Steve to see the red-head. He looked at her for a moment, she looked familiar.

 

She was speaking Russian, how does she know Russian? Does the reward knew Russian too? He wrapped an arm around Steve's middle and pulled him close to his chest, keeping his eyes on the woman in front of him. He wanted to make clear that Steve was his. 

 

Nat responded to Steve's question, "The message you sent, Sam wanted to make sure you were okay." Bucky cocked his head to the side slightly, who was Sam?

 “Come in already.” Steve sidestepped to let Natasha in, Bucky moving behind him to keep him close, to protect him if need be.

 

Natasha passed by Bucky, giving him a stern nod. A reassurance that she wasn’t here to take his ‘reward’ away. She already knew how protective Bucky was of Steve, especially since the  _ incident _ . Bucky wanted his now smaller sized boyfriend to be safe, but the Winter Soldier wanted to keep him safe out desperation and any means necessary.

 

Steve lead her to the kitchen and grabbed the instant coffee from the cupboard. 

 

Bucky sat on a chair by the door, he had already moved some of his knives and a gun, protecting Steve by the door. He was close enough to the kitchen in case anything happened.   
  
"Has he been like this all day?" She asked, taking her eyes away from the soldier by the door.    
  
"Since we woke up. I'm sorry for not texting back." Steve apologized as he made some instant coffee for her. Within a few moments he handed the mug to her and apologized once more.    
  
"I see. солдат.”   
  
Bucky perked up at the name, having not heard Russian in a while. He stared at the both of them for a moment before responded, "да.”   
  
"Ваша миссия - убедиться, что Стив в порядке.."   
  
Bucky nodded his head and Nat turned her attention back to Steve.   
  
"When he's like this he's usually trying to find a mission." The blonde explained, he remembered the few times when Bucky had been like this and even from just this morning alone.   
  
"Well." Nat took a sip from the mug, "I just did.” She soon turned back to Bucky and added, “

Иметь секс со Стивом тоже. Вы поймете, как ему это нравится.”

 

Bucky’s cheeks quickly went red and he ducked his head down for a moment, before he nodded.   
  
Nat chuckled at Bucky’s embarrassment and Steve’s confusion. 

 

 “What did you say?”   
  
“You said give him a mission, I gave him one. It seems like he isn’t going to hurt you, if anything he wants to take care of you and you’ve been complaining about how all of this work has lead to a lack of… Sexual encounters.” 

 

Steve looked at her with wide eyes, “Nat, come on. He isn’t himself, I don’t want to force anything-”   
  
She put a hand over his, “Steve, he’s been looking at you like you’re a porcelain doll but also like a fine cut of steak and he hasn’t eaten in weeks.” 

 

Steve’s cheeks grew even more red as he looked away from her, “Listen, I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable. He’s having one of those days.”   
  
 “Either you two can have some time together or he’s going to sit by the door and wait for you to be taken away until the switch in his head goes off again. He wants to make you feel safe and he can make you feel that in more intimate ways.” She winked before walking out of the kitchen and to the living room. 

 

Steve looked over to Bucky, still seeing the blush on his cheeks. He still appeared ridgid like a soldier, but the firearm in his grasp was now being unloaded. He had a new mission which didn’t require a firearm.

 

Steve looked back to Nat, “How did you?”   
  
“English reminds him of targets, Russian however reminds him of his mission.” She sighed, “You can ask Bruce about the one time we tried to bring dirty talk into the bedroom, it was a small response for me. But, it seems to him like in days like this, it means a lot more.” She looked back to Steve, “Is he like this often?”   
  
Steve shook his head, “Not really, after the whole thing with Loki that lead me to being like this, it seems to happen a little bit more. It must bring back some memories” He soon found arms wrapping around his slim middle. The black vibranium shined under the living room lights. 

 

Nat soon put down the mug on the table and straightened out her top as she stood up, “Well, I will leave you two to it.” She looked to Bucky, “I know this name probably doesn’t mean a whole lot to you, but Barnes, take care of him. He loves you.”    
  


Bucky nodded his head before he held Steve close to him, “To protect.”   
  
Nat let herself out, and in a way Steve was glad of her visit. Bucky seemed more relaxed against him then how he was this morning. Maybe, Bucky needed direction, he needed a but of that control, but couldn’t take it without permission. 

 

A new mission. 

 

To protect Steve in a different way, to make him feel comfortable and loved. Steve was a reward in Bucky’s mind, but he needed to know that the blonde trusted him more than anyone else. 

 

“Bucky.” Steve said.   
  
Bucky responded by placing kisses along Steve’s clothed right shoulder. He kept Steve in his arms, but not tight enough to hurt him. He knew his own strength and knew how hard to hold him without hurting him. Maybe there was a small piece of the old Bucky in there.   
  


 “I trust you, you said I’m a reward right?” 

 

Bucky nodded his head against Steve’s slim shoulder as he continued to kiss it.

 

 “Then maybe.” Steve reached behind him to pet at Bucky’s hair, “You should show me how much you appreciate your gift.”

 

 “Gift.” The term rolled off easily from Bucky’s tongue. 

 

 “Yeah. Let’s go into the bedroom.” Steve said softly as he lead Bucky to their shared room. He watched the other man look around, afraid of something or rather someone coming out and snatching away the blonde, but that paranoia never came true. 

 

The smaller man sat on the bed and slowly began to take off his shirt, slowly pulling it off so Bucky got a good look at his small, boney frame. He knew it wasn’t much, but usually Bucky fell head over heels for even just a glance of his collarbone as if they didn’t have copious amounts of sex.

 

 “Like what you see?” Steve asked softly, cocking his head to the side and looking at the other man with his big blue eyes.

 

Bucky stood there stoic at the foot of the bed, not knowing what to do. There were no direct orders or anything, just his present slowly peeling off his shirt. 

 

Steve crawled to the foot of the bed and held out his hand, “Come on, no need to be afraid.” He laced his fingers with Bucky’s when the other man reached forward, “Why don’t you take your clothes off, you’re in full uniform… Your mission was hard.”

 

 “Did you get hurt during the mission?” Bucky asked as let go of Steve’s hand and slowly started to unbuckle his uniform, his hands were careful, quick and efficient.

 

Steve shook his head, “No, I was here, waiting for you. Now come here.” He slowly pulled off his sleep pants, kicking the flannel to the ground and was soon followed by his navy briefs. He sat there naked, elbows now propped up at his elbows, looking at his lover.

 

He looked like he was ready for a mission, ready to face whatever needs to be done head on, that included bringing Steve to a shattering orgasm. 

 

Bucky unsheathed his knife from the holster at his thigh and gave it to Steve gently, “Protection.” His voice was rough. 

 

Steve looked at it with wide eyes, “Um. I think we’ll be okay.” He leaned back to place the large knife, that he has seen Bucky plunge into enemies necks and adomens, onto the nightstand. 

 

Bucky looked at him curiously, how could he not want this? How could he not want to be protected, his gift was so tiny. Regardless, he’d just protect Steve with his bare hands if need be, unless it was _ them _ who took him.

 

He felt careful hands continue to unbuckle and unzip the rest of his uniform, “Thank you.” he said to the blonde. 

 

Steve smiled, “Hey, you owe me.” He joked.

 

Bucky nodded his head, a command, “what do you wish?”

 

Steve’s eyes darted up to the soldier, “I didn’t mean it like that, I was hoping to discuss things we could do.” His hands wandered to Bucky’s thigh to unsnap the thigh holster, “Two equals.”

 

 “But you’re a reward.” 

 

 “And that’s what I want.” Steve smiled, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, that won’t be fun now will it?” He placed the holster on the ground. 

 

 “Thank you.” Bucky said as he unlaced his heavy boots and slipped them off, placing them beside the bed neatly.

 

Steve leaned back and watched the precise movements of Bucky’s hands. He was soon shed of his clothing and Steve licked his lips, he could never get enough of his lover. The ripple of muscle, his tanned skin that looked healthier now than ever before, his grey eyes, the scar tissue that connected flesh and metal he found endearing. 

 

 “Beautiful.” Steve smirked. 

 

 “No.” Bucky said, “You are.” He took Steve’s hand and kissed the inside of his wrist. He thought this was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen before. Deep in him wanted to get him away from such a horrid organization, something so beautiful often got crushed under the heavy boots of HYDRA. He couldn’t be saved, but he wasn’t beautiful. 

 

Steve lead Bucky onto the bed once the soldier was nude. He petted back some of his dark hair, “What do you want to do?”

 

Bucky laid out beside him, resting on his metal arm as he looked to Steve, “I don’t know.”

 

Steve nodded his head, “How about I say some things and you figure out which ones you want to do?” He didn’t want to push Bucky too hard, he didn’t know where Bucky’s head was. He knew that Bucky saw everything through an old lens, but he didn’t know to what extent. 

 

Bucky nodded and watched Steve carefully.

 

 “How about you… Rim me first. You know.”Steve trailed off for a moment, “Eat me out. Do you know what that is? Putting your tongue down  _ there _ .”

 

Bucky nodded his head, anything for his gift.

 

 “And.. Um, I like it when you play with my nipples. They’re really sensitive. And you can make love to me.”

 

Bucky nodded his head. He would have sex with his gift anyway he could, whatever he wanted. He wanted his gift to have choice and agency in this.

 

 “Can I get a verbal confirmation?” Steve asked, he wanted to make sure that Bucky was onboard with this.

 

 “Yes.” Bucky said. 

 

Steve rolled over onto his stomach slowly, “Then let’s get started.” He gave a small smile and arched his back slightly. 

 

 “You are mine?” Bucky said almost questioning.

 

Steve nodded his head, “All yours.”

 

 “All mine.” The soldier echoed before he got behind Steve, “ _ мое сокровище” _

 

Steve smile to himself as he pressed his face into the pillows. He gasped as he felt Bucky’s tongue run up his hole, testing him, “Yeah, like that.”   
  


 “Mine.” 

 

 “Yours.” Steve gasped as he felt Bucky’s tongue against his hole. He felt Bucky’s hands hold his cheeks apart as he went in. Bucky remembered something from their time together, he knew how to make Steve moan. 

 

Bucky continued to tongue at his gift’s hole, his treasure. The sounds his made, made Bucky’s cock twitch in delight. He never remembered having a sensation like that before, the strain against his thigh.

 

Steve moaned as Bucky’s tongue swiped away his hole one more time before plunging in. His back arched, there was less of a civil aspect to it, no careful strokes like usual. Instead Bucky just went right in, letting his blunt teeth dig into his skin, “Oh, Bucky.”

 

Bucky almost growled in response, taking this seriously. 

 

Steve gripped the soft grey comforter and moaned. He buried his face further into the soft fabric. It felt like nothing he’s ever felt before. Usually there is restain given during their time intimate together, but there was no holds back. 

 

Bucky was worried that his gift was going to be taken away in any moment and he wanted to make sure that the seconds spent together were not wasted. Time was not meant to be squandered by the Winter Soldier. 

 

Steve sighed happily as Bucky began to thrust his tongue in and out of him, occasionally licking around the rim. He clenched the comforter. He could remember the first time they did this, they had to take their sexual encounters slow back them and in silence. Love like theirs wasn’t allowed.

 

Bucky groaned against Steve’s hole as he continued to sloppily eat him out. It felt right to do it this way, it was like his brain knew it was doing, but he couldn’t place any memories to it. It didn’t hurt that it made his gift’s toes curl and breath hitch. 

 

 “Fuck.” Steve breathed out.

 

Bucky continued, keeping track of Steve’s noises and small movements. Like on a mission he had to be aware of everything no matter what. Even with his cock aching against his thigh, his main objective was to make the smaller blonde male in front of him feel good. He didn’t know how to take for himself, only give and give he shall.

 

Steve pulled his head away from the pillows to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, he was drooling on the covers. His head was swirling with lust, he could feel the pull of orgasm on his body. 

 

 “Fuck.” He groaned. His face felt warm, sweat traveled down his neck and his breathing was starting to grow heavy, “You are amazing at this, please more.” 

 

He couldn’t get enough.

 

It took him a moment to realize that he was going to come before Bucky properly fucked him. He took a deep breath to steady himself and not make a mess of the covers,  _ yet.  _ He tried to move farther up the bed to grab the bottle of lube.

 

 “Mine.” Bucky responded not moving an inch.

 

 “Fuck me.” Steve  nudged him with his foot, tempting him with a much better offer. In his opinion getting stuffed full of a possessive Bucky Barnes’ cock sounds like a very tempting offer. But that was him.

 

Bucky grunted when Steve tried to pull away, opting to clutch onto the smaller man tighter.

 

 “Okay, okay. I’m going to come if you keep that up.” Steve pushed Bucky’s head back and laughed.

 

 “Sorry.”   
  
 “Don’t be.” Steve grabbed the lube from inside the nightstand and uncapped it. He quickly worked two lubed fingers inside him, before nudging the bottle behind him with his foot. He was still a little wet from Bucky’s mouth. But, he has found that since reverting back to his smaller body, it’s been hard for him to take Bucky’s cock without a little lube.

 

Bucky watched in awe for a moment as he lathered his own cock in lube, understanding where this was going. 

 

Steve managed to get three fingers, thrusting them in and out of himself. His back arched slightly so he could get the best angle as he stretched himself enough to accommodate Bucky’s cock. There was many things that he hated about being in his original body, but the one that often took the cake was the amount of prep that needed just so he could get intimate with his lover. 

 

Stupid magic.

 

The world seemed quiet around him, blocked out any sound of the bustle of New York. In their little world where only they existed and every evil is gone. Steve had to deal with a stoic soldier, but he would deal with that over losing his lover again, and again, and again.

 

 “Oh.” He moaned. He was Bucky’s and Bucky was his.

 

After a few moments and a couple of slipped out moans, his wrist was caught by a metal hand. He looked over his shoulder and blinked at the other man.

 

 “Mine.” Bucky said suddenly as he placed the blonde's hand down and moved the him onto his back. He kissed at the spot right above his nipple.

 

Steve nodded his head dumbly, “Right, I forgot. Yours.” He swore he saw the faintest smile cross his lover’s lips, but he wasn’t sure.

 

Bucky got on top of his gift, his cock nudgin against the blonde’s entrance. He saw as the other man bit his bottom lip in anticipation. He couldn’t deny him for much longer and slipped in slowly.

 

Steve arched his back and gripped onto the soldier’s strong arms, “Yeah, yeah, like that.” The blonde encouraged. 

 

The other man began to thrust his hips, rocking quickly and not taking it slow. Steve enjoyed that greatly. It wasn’t a slow game of mapping out one another’s body, Bucky had a drive to not make love to him, but fuck him. 

 

He gazed into Bucky’s blue eyes, worrying his bottom lip as he sighed through his nose. The bed squeaked under their movements and he eventually rolled his head to the sighed and gasped as Bucky’s cock brushed against his sweet spot, “Like that.”

 

Mission, treasure, or gift, he liked to encouraged Bucky. He was doing amazingly and he should know that. Maybe it’ll bring back some memories to get him out of this mindset.

 

Bucky kept both hands on either side of his gift, thrusting into him. He watched every small movement in his gifts body or how his expression changed. What made him gasp, or moan. The words of encouragement made him move his hips faster.

 

Steve clung onto Bucky, with every thrust his nails dug into the thick skin of his lover’s back. He could only imagine the red lines he was

 

Bucky groaned at the feeling of his nails against his back. The sharp pain brought a shiver through his body.

 

Steve dug his nails a little deeper when Bucky’s cock pressed against his sweet spot, “Like that?” 

 

Bucky didn’t know how to respond, a soldier doesn’t get choice.

 

 “You can say you do.” Steve reassured.

 

The soldier nodded and continued to get pleasure in the scratched being placed on his body as he made his gift feel good. There was no shame in getting pleasure from this as well, it was what the blonde wanted too.

 

 “Then I’ll keep doing it.” Steve emphasized as he brought his nails up the Bucky’s shoulders and around to his collarbone and dragged them down as Bucky continued to pound him. 

 

Bucky nodded his head and moved his hips faster. 

 

Steve was almost bouncing on the bed with each thrust, the bed hitting the wall everytime Bucky hit his spot just right. The air was thick with their sex, and it was thick in Steve’s head. This wasn’t soft or too intimate, there was an animalistic tendency to it. He wanted to make Steve come and Steve wanted the same for him, “Yes. Yes.” 

 

Bucky grunted in response. 

 

 “If you own me, I own you.” Steve said softly. 

 

Bucky looked at him, a little lost for a moment. He didn’t know how to respond to that, HYDRA owned him, not this blonde man. They took and took from Bucky, he was their soldier until he was no longer of use. 

 

But the look in Steve’s eyes said that he wanted a different response, he couldn’t deny him something like that.

 

 “Yes.” He said simply before he lowered his head and began to suck at the blonde’s nipples.

 

Steve almost screamed at the sensation, another downside of him being in his old body. He was so sensitive in places and how Bucky’s front teeth just dragged across his nipples made him almost lose his mind. 

 

Bucky looked at him with a worried look.

 

Steve gave him a thumbs up as he tried to regain his ability to speak.

 

Bucky continued to thrust into Steve, his lips away the sweat sheen skin of the man below him. He felt warmth around him as he thrusted deep into him. He doesn’t know what his mission was, or what he deserved to get such a lovely gift. This was his reward and a new mission, it must be done correctly. He wanted this blonde forever, he wanted to devour him in all the ways that pleasure could bring.

 

It at the same time felt familiar, like they had met before. Maybe he was with someone who looked like him before. It warmed him to his core. He kissed at Steve’s nipples as he thrusted in him. 

 

Steve gripped onto Bucky’s dark hair as he moaned. 

 

Bucky thrusted into his gift, sucking at his neck, leaving kisses along the pale skin. He felt the turn of orgasm in his body. He was getting ever so close. He panted against the blonde’s pink tinted skin. 

 

 “Buck.”

 

 “Who’s Buck?” 

 

Steve put his finger over Bucky’s mouth, that wasn’t a conversation for now, “Sh. It’s your name.” 

 

Bucky nodded as he moved his mouth back down to the blonde’s nipples. Licking at them as he chased after his orgasm. 

 

Steve’s back was arched as far as it could go. He gripped Bucky’s dark hair and moaned loudly. It felt so good, he could feel Bucky’s entire body covering his. Protected.

 

 “Mine.” Bucky said.   
  
 “Yours. Fuck, yours.” Who knew one word could get Steve going. He started to worry his bottom lip, feeling pleasure grow too strong. He was on the edge of orgasm.

 

Bucky grunted in response. He could feel the blonde’s body grow tight as they both approached orgasm. He aimed his thrusts directly as the spot that made Steve moan the loudest. Marvelling in how loud he could get. 

 

 “Close.”

 

 “Yes.” Bucky responded through grit teeth.

 

 “That’s it, that’s it!” Steve arched his back as he came all over his stomach. He lets out a pitiful whine as he slumped further onto the bed, only being held up by his hips thanks to Bucky.

 

Bucky groaned through grit teeth as he came himself with a few more thrusts of his hips. He slowed down his pace as he came inside of the blonde until he was done. He then slipped out of Steve’s slippery, come filled hole and sofly placed the blonde’s hips back onto the soft mattress.

 

Steve panted as he felt Bucky shift around him until he felt the weight of the soldier onto the mattress, he was still coming down from his high. His breaths in short pants as he sprawled out across their massive, shared bed.

 

 “How are you feeling?” He asked, but got no response, Bucky kept moving around to make himself comfy.  _ At least he wasn’t searching for a gun  _ he thought, “You did good on your mission.” 

 

He thought the encouragement would help him settle down. 

 

The soldier curled up close to Steve, pulling him as close as possible without crushing him, "I'm sorry I fell from the train, I should've been for careful. For you, you needed me." The memories were beginning to become clearer, it wasn't blurry figures, they had names; Peggy, Howard, Dum Dum, Morita. It was Europe, but not frozen Siberia, it was summertime in France or spring in London. It was the feel of the old gun or how lightweight the shield was... The shield, the red, white and blue, the star in the middle... There was a joke about it looking like a frisbee.... But who said it? He was muscular, tall blonde..    
  
He gazed down at Steve, "You."

 

 “Wait, you said the train. You remember me, when I looked different?”   
  
Bucky nodded his head and took a hold of Steve’s hands, “How could I…. How could I forget my best guy.” He gave a smile.

 

Steve pulled Bucky close and kissed at his face, “It’s good to have you back, Bucky.” He swore he felt a single tear roll down the other man’s face.

 

-

 

The following morning, Steve rolled over and was met with the solid body of Bucky. He cuddled up close to him. Feeling the warmth that Bucky always proved him, the comfort and safety that went along with it.

 

 “Thank you.” Bucky whispered.   
  
Steve asked, “For what.” His arms closing in around the other man. His face buried in his shoulder.

 

 “For making you my mission yesterday. It gave me something to focus on.”

 

 “Till the end of the line.” Steve kissed at the other’s collarbone before settling his head down once more. Allowing for the sense of calm and warmth wash over him.

 

 “Till the end of the line,  _ my treasure. _ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to follow me at fanficton-fanfriction
> 
> Translations:  
> мое сокровище - My treasure  
> солдат - Soldier  
> да. - Yes  
> Ваша миссия - убедиться, что Стив в порядке.. - Your mission is to make sure that Steve is alright  
> Иметь секс со Стивом тоже. Вы поймете, как ему это нравится. - Have sex with Steve too. You will understand how he likes it.


End file.
